Are You Nicktooned In? | Ooze News | August 1996

Ooze News - August 1996

Are You Nicktooned In?

Take our quiz to find out if you are a Nicktoons know-it-all. Circle the correct answer to each question below.

Rugrats

1. Which of the following best describes Chuckie?
A. Cheese lover
B. Brat
C. Fraidy-cat

2. Which Rugrat is the oldest?
A. Tommy
B. Angelica
C. Shag

3. What is Tommy's last name?
A. Pickles
B. Cucumbers
C. Dill

4. What does Grandpa Lou like to do?
A. Cartwheels
B. Nap
C. Eat fried Squid

5. How are Stu and Drew related?
A. They're cousins.
B. They're brothers.
C. They're married.

AAAHH!!! Real Monsters

6. What is the name of the monsters' teacher?
A. The Grump
B. The Grinch
C. The Gromble

7. What happens to monsters when they eat human food?
A. They ask for seconds.
B. They break out in spots.
C. They get sick.

8. What is the monsters' textbook called?
A. Fear and Trembling
B. The Monster Manual
C. How to Serve Man

9. What one thing can hypnotize a monster?
A. An infomercial
B. A lava lamp
C. A blinking VCR clock

10. Where does Krumm keep his eyes at night?
A. In his mouth
B. In his shoes
C. In a glass of water

11. How do monsters know when class is over?
A. A Belch Monster burps.
B. Dracula appears.
C. The teacher's head falls off.

The Ren & Stimpy Show

12. Which of the following is a song on The Ren & Stimpy Show?
A. "Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!"
B. "Come On, Get Happy"
C. "I'm a Little Teapot"

13. What does Ren like to say to Stimpy?
A. "To the moon, Stimpy!"
B. "You eediot!"
C. "Dy-no-mutt!"

14. Ren and Stimpy's favorite breakfast superhero is:
A. Cap'n Crunch
B. Cruller Crusader
C. Powdered Toastman

15. And where does that superhero's strength come from?
A. Crust
B. Vitamin F
C. Cinnamon

16. Log is:
A. Stimpy's long-lost brother
B. Ren's only child
C. A toy

Rocko’s Modern Life

17. When Rocko is upset, what does he do?
A. He sneezes.
B. He bites his fingernails.
C. He goes shopping.

18. Where does Ed Bighead work?
A. Littlehead Industries
B. Conglom-O-Corp
C. Cranium Inc.

19. What does Slippy the Slug leave behind him wherever he goes?
A. Jell-O molds
B. A slimy trail
C. Bread crumbs

20. What is Really Really Big Man's superpower?
A. His chest can see into the future.
B. He can crack his knuckles.
C. He can turn homework into pizza.

21. What kind of animal are Chuck and Leon?
A. Dachshunds
B. Chameleons
C. Armadillos

Doug

22. Doug's dog is named:
A. Tenderloin
B. Chop Suey
C. Porkchop

23. What is Doug's favorite pizza topping?
A. Banana
B. Pineapple
C. Chocolate

24. What does Skeeter want to be when he gets older?
A. A Ping-Pong player
B. An astronaut
C. An adult

25. What is Patti Mayonnaise's favorite sport?
A. Basketball
B. Foosball
C. Beetball

26. Who is Derek Derekson?
A. The World's Greatest Shakespearean Figure Skater
B. The World's Smallest Man
C. A talk-show host

27. Where does Doug live?
A. Biffington
B. Bluffington
C. Bloomington

Answers on page 58.

Hey, Herb!

Where you ask the president of Nickelodeon, Herb Scannell, anything you want.

Do you have a nickname?

Not really. Some people call me Herbie. When I was a kid, I had a couple of nicknames. For about a month, my brother teased me and called me Egbert, after a character in a W.C. Fields movie.

What were you like as a kid?

I was tall and skinny, and I tried lot of different things to put on weight. I used to have a powdered breakfast drink with every meal. I also kept a checklist on the refrigerator to record all the food I ate. But I never succeeded in gaining weight.

What sports do you play?

I play touch football, baseball, and basketball. I like baseball and basketball the best. And in high school, I played lacrosse.

Do you have any questions for Herb? He'll answer some in a future issue. Send them to:

Hey, Herb!
NICKELODEON MAGAZINE
1515 Broadway, 41st Floor
New York, NY 10036

Find SNICK

How much do you know about SNICK? Find out with this puzzle. First, answer each question by filling in the blanks below. Then find the correct answers hidden in the word search. Hint: Words read up, down, across, diagonally, and backward. Punctuation isn't included. Answers on page 58.

1. What piece of living room furniture is featured on SNICK? _ O _ _ _

2. What is the first name of the actress who plays Alex Mack? L _ _ _ _ _

3. Who is the head of Paradise Valley Chemical Plant? M _. _ _ _ _ _

4. Who is Alex Mack's sister? _ N _ _ _

5. What group sings All That's theme song? _ L _

6. What is the first name of the actress who plays both Roseanne and Ross Perot on All That? _ _ T _ _ _ _

7. Which All That character has many strange habits? _ _ _ B _ _

8. The club the kids belong to on Are You Afraid of the Dark? is the Midnight _ _ _ _ _ _ Y

9. What is the name of the android on Space Cases? T _ _ _ _ _

10. What is the name of the Space Cases' ship? _ _ _ _ _ T _

SNICK airs every Saturday night from 8-10pm

What's New on Nick

Brand-new episodes of The Secret World of Alex Mack begin at the end of August during SNICK. But don't get too comfy watching Alex Mack on Saturdays. Starting October 8th, the show will move to Tuesdays and Thursdays. That's because Nickelodeon gets to stay up an extra half hour - until 8:30pm - every weeknight. Watch Hey Arnold (below), a new Nicktoon about a nine-year-old boy growing up in a big city, on Mondays and Wednesdays. And on Fridays, check out KaBLaM, where comics and cartoons collide.

All times are for eastern and Pacific time zones. Shows air one hour earlier in the central time zone. Shows subject to change. Check your local listings for details.

###

How did you do in each Nickelodeon quiz? Let the Nickelodeon Ooze News Archive know in the comments below or on Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, on Instagram, and/or Facebook!

Additional sources: Rocko's Modern Life Wiki, Wikipedia (I, II).

Nickelodeon's 9th Annual Kids' Choice Awards | Whitney Houston | Hostess With The Mostest | Ooze News | May 1996

Ooze News - May 1996

Hostess with the Mostest

Whitney Houston hosts Nickelodeon's 9th Annual Kids' Choice Awards on Saturday, May 11.* NICKELODEON MAGAZINE spoke with Whitney about singing, stage fright, and sandwiches.

Nickelodeon Magazine: How old were you when you knew you wanted to become a professional singer?

Whitney Houston: I was about twelve or thirteen. I'd been singing in church since I was five years old, so it was always something I did. My mother was a professional singer, and she guided me after I decided this was what I was going to do.

NM: What was the first song you learned to sing?

WH: A gospel song, "Guide Me O Thou Great Jehovah."

NM: Have you ever forgotten the words to a song during a concert?

WH: Yes.

NM: What does that feel like?

WH: You just feel kind of silly. I add some aahhs and ummms to cover it.

NM: Have you ever had stage fright?

WH: Yes. The first time I had it, I was about fourteen. I was performing with my mother in New York City, at a place called Alice Tully Hall. It was the first time I was performing in front of a large crowd of people, and I got so scared I almost went to the bathroom on myself.

NM: When you are performing, what do you look at or do you just zone out?

WH: People.

NM: When people leave a concert, they often say that the singer looked right at them.

WH: Yeah, sometimes we do. I can see the first four rows, but after the fifth and sixth, it starts to get dim.

NM: Do you sing in the shower?

WH: Yes.

NM: Where do you keep your awards?

WH: In a large case in the basement.

NM: What was the first award you won?

WH: I was in an all-state talent competition when I was in seventh grade. I came in second. It's funny because the winner sang "The Greatest Love of All." I sang "Evergreen."

NM: Where did you grow up?

WH: I was born in Newark, New Jersey, and I grew up there and in East Orange, New Jersey. And I still live in New Jersey.

NM: Do you have any sisters or brothers?

WH: I have two older brothers.

NM: Was it tough being a little sister?

WH: Yes!

NM: Do your big brothers still pick on you?

WH: Yeah, sometimes.

NM: What's the worst outfit you wore as a kid?

WH: A purple chiffon gown with a white organza top. I was sixteen years old.

NM: What were your favorite clothes as a kid?

WH: Blue jeans and sneakers.

NM: Did you have a nickname as a kid?

WH: Nippy. My father gave me that name. I don't know why. He said he liked the name. People close to me still call me that.

NM: Did you have any heroes as a kid?

WH: My parents. I had great parents. They made themselves examples for me and my brothers.

NM: How many people tour with you?

WH: About 120, including the band members, dancers, wardrobe people, and hairstylists.

NM: Do you travel by bus when you're on tour?

WH: Yes. I love the bus. It has a place to cook food and a little bunk bed. It's not fancy, just convenient.

NM: Do you ever get bus-sick?

WH: No.

NM: Now that you're famous, what can you do that you couldn't do before?

WH: Get into places without waiting.

NM: If there were a Whitney Houston sandwich, what would it be?

WH: Peanut butter and jelly. I love peanut butter and jelly. On wholewheat bread. It's quick. It's tasty. With a glass of milk-mmm, great.

NM: Do you eat all your vegetables?

WH: Not all the time. I love asparagus. I love spinach. I love greens and kale.

NM: If you could be any animal, which would you choose?

WH: A bird. I love doves. I'd like to fly.

NM: What music groups did you listen to as a kid?

WH: Earth, Wind, and Fire, The Temptations, The Four Tops, Gladys Knight and the Pips, and the Jackson 5.

NM: What did your parents think of the music you listened to when you were a kid?

WH: We all liked the same music, but not always at the same volume.

P.S.

Birthday: August 9, 1963

Middle name: Elizabeth

Pets: Two cats and three dogs

Favorite home-cooked meal: Fried chicken, pork and beans, and a salad

Favorite dessert: Sweet potato pie

Favorite TV shows: Living Single, Martin, Family Matters, and Step by Step

Highest note she can hit: A high C

*Show airs at 8 PM, eastern and Pacific time; at 7 PM central time. Check local listings for details.

Choosing Favorites

Nickelodeon's 9th Annual Kids' Choice Awards airs on Saturday, May 11, at 8 PM.* Tune in to find out who kids chose as their favorite celebrities, athletes, and more.

Before the show starts, mark your own choices on this viewer's guide. Then watch the show to see if you picked the winners.

The nominees in each category are:

FAVORITE MOVIE ACTOR
Jim Carrey [*]
Tom Hanks
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Robin Williams

FAVORITE MOVIE ACTRESS
Kirstie Alley
Nicole Kidman
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen [*]
Alicia Silverstone

FAVORITE MOVIE
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls [*]
Batman Forever
Casper
Toy Story

FAVORITE TELEVISION ACTOR
Tim Allen [*]
Martin Lawrence
Will Smith
Jaleel White

FAVORITE TELEVISION ACTRESS
Tatyana M. Ali
Tia & Tamera Mowry [*]
Queen Latifah
Roseanne

FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW
Family Matters
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Home Improvement [*]
Sister, Sister

FAVORITE SINGER
Brandy
Coolio
Janet Jackson
Michael Jackson

FAVORITE GROUP
All-4-One
Boyz II Men
Green Day
TLC

FAVORITE SONG
"Baby" (Brandy)
"Gangsta's Paradise" (Coolio)
"One Sweet Day" (Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men)
"Waterfalls" (TLC)

FAVORITE MALE ATHLETE
Troy Aikman
Michael Jordan
Shaquille O'Neal
Emmitt Smith

FAVORITE FEMALE ATHLETE
Nicole Bobek
Nancy Kerrigan
Shannon Miller
Kristi Yamaguchi

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM
Atlanta Braves
Dallas Cowboys
Orlando Magic
San Francisco 49ers

FAVORITE CARTOON
Animaniacs
Doug
Rugrats [*]
The Simpsons

FAVORITE ANIMAL STAR
Amy the Gorilla (Congo)
Babe the Pig (Babe)
Marcel the Monkey (Friends)
Willy the Whale (Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home) [*]

FAVORITE VIDEO GAME
Donkey Kong Country [*]
Ms. Pac-Man
Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster Busts Loose
X-Men

FAVORITE BOOK
The Baby-Sitter IV by R.L. Stine
The Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks
Pocahontas Illustrated Classic adapted by Gina Ingoglia
Tales to Give You Goosebumps: Special Edition #1 by R.L. Stine

HALL OF FAME
Tim Allen [*]
Whoopi Goldberg
Whitney Houston
Janet Jackson

[Winners of Nickelodeon 1996 Kids' Choice Awards are marked with a *]

The show airs at 7 PM in the central time zone. Check your local listing for details.

Bonus article: Nickelodeon Magazine's exclusive interview with Animaniacs voice actors Jess Harnell (Wakko) and Tress MacNeille (Dot):

Nickelodeon Magazine: How can kids get better at doing voices?

Jess Harnell: Imitate everyone. Imitate your brothers, imitate your aunts, imitate people on TV. Even if your imitation isn't good, then you've just invented a new voice. But I always tell kids that whatever their talent is-whether it's voices or drawing or anything-they have to practice.

NM: As a kid, did you think you'd get paid to make voices?
JH: I had a feeling I would. I always did voices. When I was twelve, I saw a behind-the-scenes taping of a cartoon. I remember watching the actors do their parts.

NM: Do you recommend your line of work to kids?
JH: Absolutely. Rob Paulsen [the voice of Yakko] says that we're getting paid to do the stuff that used to get us in trouble at school.

Dot's All
Tress MacNeille is the voice of Dot.

Nickelodeon Magazine: Are you anything like Dot?
Tress MacNeille: Very much. I'm adorable and assertive. I sometimes lose my temper. I understand Dot because I know girls need to speak up and make their wishes known.

NM: Is Dot the cutest character you've ever played?
TM:  Female cartoon characters usually are adorable. Either that or they're evil. But Dot is absolutely the cutest. She's smart, too.

NM: Is her voice based on anyone you know?
TM: Not really. I was shown a drawing of Dot. So the voice had to be right for someone small and cute in a flounced skirt.

NM: Will Dot ever catch Mel Gibson?
TM: She has hopes. But it's all about the chase. Once he's caught, she might get bored.

NM: When you were a kid, did you ever imagine you'd be doing this for a living?
TM: I wanted to very much, ever since I was about ten. I've realized my life's ambition.

NM: Did you have brothers like Yakko and Wakko?
TM: Yes, I had five brothers and two sisters, and there was a lot of yakkin' and a lot of wackiness.

###

Additional sources: Wikipedia [I, II], Nick.com: All Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards Winners.

Space Cases Blasts Off - Ooze News - March 1996

Ooze News - March 1996

Space Cases

Blasts Off

What would you do if you were trapped on a spaceship with your teacher and assistant principal for the next seven years?

Space Cases, Nickelodeon's new science-fiction show, is the story of five kids who find out for themselves. Set in the year 2261, Space Cases follows five students (the "space cases") who study - or rather, don't study - at the Starcademy, a training school for intergalactic heroes.

Their troubles begin when they are sent to a special three-week summer-school program. One day, the students wander aboard a mysterious alien ship, which is empty - except for a robot. Their teacher and assistant principal follow them on board - and are about to tell the kids to return to school - when the ship suddenly blasts off through a freak hole in space. The ship ends up on the other side of the galaxy, and the shortest course back to the Starcademy will take seven years to complete. The space cases are trapped - and their adventures begin.

Space Cases premieres on Saturday, March 2, at 9 PM.
Subject to change. Check local listings for details.

Lost In Space... Again

Space Cases co-creator Bill Mumy (left) with Mark Hamill (of Star Wars fame) make guest appearances on Space Cases as Jin and Pel, respectively.

Bill Mumy, the show's co-creator (with Peter David), knows a lot about science fiction. From ages 10 to 14, he starred in the classic TV show Lost in Space. Currently, he stars on Babylon 5, another TV sci-fi adventure show. We asked him some spacey questions.

Nickelodeon Magazine: What would you do if you met an alien?
Bill Mumy: I guess it would depend on the alien. If he were friendly, I'd find out what kind of music he listens to. I would ask him if he'd like to make a guest appearance on Space Cases. He wouldn't have to go to makeup.

NM: What makes Space Cases different from other TV shows?
BM: It's a sci-fi show about kids. Another thing that makes it different is that there are no hand weapons. People aren't going around blasting one another.

NM: If you could ride a rocket into space, would you?
BM: If I could go to the airport and get on a spacecraft, I'd do it in a minute.

NM: What's your favorite planet?
BM: My favorite planet is Earth, but it needs a lot of work.

NM: Would you want to live in space?
BM: I'd rather live in Hawaii. But California isn't so bad.

The Cast Of Cases

Your guide to who's who in the crew

Catalina
Home: Titan (one of Saturn's moons)
Special characteristics: Catalina has rainbow-striped hair. She also has an invisible friend named Suzee. No one but Catalina knows if Suzee really exists. Catalina says that it's Suzee who comes up with all the bright ideas.
Played by: Jewel Staite, age 13

Harlan
Home: Earth
Special characteristics: Harlan has natural leadership skills, but he often makes mistakes. After all, he's only human.
Played by: Walter Jones

Radu
Home: Andromeda (a constellation)
Special characteristics: Radu has spiral-shaped ears, which give him super-hearing. He also has super-strength - 10 times that of a human.
Played by: Kristian Ayre, age 18

Rosie
Home: Mercury
Special characteristics: Pink skin and a hairless body. When she gets angry, her face turns very red. If Rosie gets frustrated or upset, she also radiates heat. The temperature of the room increases and she sets off the sprinkler systems.
Played by: Paige Christina, age 13

Bova
Home: Uranus
Special characteristics: Bova has a pair of antennae on his forehead. They can generate electricity.
Played by: Rahi Azizi, age 13.

And...

Thelma is an android. Her fingers can do almost anything, from screwing in screws to dispensing beverages. [Thelma stands for Techno Human EmuLating MAchine, and is played by Anik Matern.]

Commander Seth Goddard is the kids' teacher. He sometimes loses his temper trying to keep the space cases in line. [Played by Paul Boretski.]

T.J. Davenport is the assistant principal who expects perfection from others and herself. [Played by Cary Lawrence.]

Ask the Boss Lady

Where you ask the president of Nickelodeon, Geraldine B. Laybourne, anything you want.

Do you always wear pencils in your hair?
Only when I'm trying to look really smart!

What was the worst smell you ever smelled, and where were you when you smelled it?
When I was growing up, the New Jersey Meadowlands smelled like 40,000 skunks had had a spraying party. (That was before the property was cleaned up and a sports complex was built there.)

What is your favorite smell?
My favorite smell is chocolate-chip cookies being baked in the oven - or maybe it's brownies.

Are you as funky as Nickelodeon's characters?
I've always thought of myself as down-to-earth and funky. But, to make sure I answered your question correctly, I looked up funky in the dictionary. One definition is "having a offensive odor." The next time someone calls me funky, I'm going to ask them exactly what they mean by it.

What's New on Nick

Ren and Stimpy on the Move
Starting March 16, The Ren & Stimpy Show will be on Saturdays at 6 PM.

Woodunit?
Watch The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo, a new show about a 16-year-old amateur detective, on weekends starting in March.

All times are for Eastern and Pacific time zones. Shows air one hour earlier in the central time zone. Shows subject to change. Check your local listings for details.

###

Additional source: Wikipedia.

Nickelodeon UK - Ooze News - November 1995

Ooze News - November 1995

Nick UK

Once upon a time, Nickelodeon just took over schools - now it's taking over the world.

Nickelodeon has been on the United Kingdom since 1993, where it's known as Nick UK. Although Nick UK is very similar to Nickelodeon in America, there are some differences. NICKELODEON MAGAZINE found out about them when we visited Nick UK in London, England.

The most unusual part of Nick UK is NickAlive. Between shows, hosts do live broadcasts from two studios. One studio is in a London shopping mall called the Trocadero. It has glass walls, so the crowds at the mall can walk by, look in, and even end up on TV. It's the kind of place where alnmost anything can happen.


The rest of the time, NickAlive works out of the UK's first-ever Virtual Studio. Computers and fancy camera work are used to create three-dimensional backgrounds, such as a Gak cave and kitchen. The hosts can interact with these backgrounds.

In both settings, NickAlive involves lots of kids. Every weekend (and each Wednesday during school vacations), kids vote by phone for their favorite show. The show that gets the most votes airs, usually within the house. For Coast to Coast, eight kids were chosen to travel across America, from New York to California, in a motor home. They were given camcorders to tape whatever they wanted during the month-long journey, which took place in August. Short segments of the trip will air this fall.


Kids also call and fax in jokes, pictures, and more. When we were there, one kid called up and played his trumpet over the phone. Another gargled the theme to The Flintstones.

All of this kookiness is led by seven human hosts and a orange fish called Bert.



"It's so spontaneous," says Yiolanda Ttokkallos, one of the hosts. "We can decide to do something and then do it - just like that!"


Nick UK isn't always live TV. It also airs show you can see in the U.S., like Clarissa Explains It All and Rugrats. But others are special to Nick UK. One is called School of the Week, where Nickelodeon visits a British school and wreaks havoc. Each week a different school is invaded. Teachers are forced to dress up in chicken suits, kids get to tell the truth about school lunches, and a student's romantic crush is exposed.


One of the most popular shows on Nick UK is Family Values, where a host travels across Britain and surprised families by dropping in on them at home. Then he gets them to reveal secrets about one another, like who has the messiest room in the house. So far, Family Values has not gotten in to see the Queen, but that doesn't mean they won't.

Bert the Fish

Perhaps the only fish on a call-in show, Bert the Fish hates everything. Especially kids. He thinks they smell like milk, and this bothers him. Other fish bother him, too. They always seem to open their mouths, yet they never say anything. This animated creation can be found complaining on NickAlive where he hosts with a human sidekick.

The Presenters

NICKELODEON MAGAZINE spoke with some of the presenters (as hosts are called in England) of NickAlive.

Nigel Mitchell

At 16, Nigel is the youngest of all the presenters.

NM: What is the worst thing about being on a live show?

Nigel: Things can go wrong. Once, I was left there looking like a complete lemon because I thought we weren't on the air anymore. I just sat there staring.

Lucy Alexander

Lucy trained as a dancer before becoming an actress.

NM: Have you ever gotten the hiccups while on the air?

Lucy: Yes, and once, I got a big hair in my eyeball - it felt like it was wrapped around it. I had to start the segment with my eye closed, tears streaming down my face.


James Gilbey

Before coming a presenter on NickAlive, James was a star on a British soap opera called EastEnders.

NM: What has been your most embarrassing moment on the show?

James: I do a part of the game show Family Values, where I talk to a parent and a viewer on the phone every morning for a whole week. We've done all sorts of research on the family, so I know all these silly secrets. I've got a reputation for being quite mischievous. Well, one family decided to get me back. I was talking on the phone with them when suddenly they hung up. I was baffled - I hadn't said anything rude to them. Suddenly, they burst through the studio door and covered me in custard pies. I thought I was talking to them at home, but they were in the back room of the studio the whole time. That was the moment I wish had never happened.

Yiolanda Ttokkallos and Mounya Khamlichi

Yiolanda and Mounya were sales assistants when they found out about an audition at Nickelodeon one Friday. They were on TV a week later.

NM: What's one of your favorite things you get to do on the air?

Mounya: We do a segment called "The Love Doctor." Kids phone in with their love problems, and we offer big sister advice. The funniest question we ever got was from a guy who was dating a set of twins, and didn't know which one to go out with.

Rick Adams

Rick was so nervous before his first time on live TV that he threw up.

NM: Do you ever wish you weren't doing a live TV show?

Rick: Sometimes. Yesterday, kids were voting by phone for which show they'd like to watch. Lucy (my co-host) and I always bet on which show is going to be chosen, and the winner gets to do something to the loser. I lost, and Lucy dropped two glasses of ice down my trousers. I sang soprano all afternoon.


Sarah Cawood

NickAlive is Sarah's first-ever TV job.

NM: Describe your first moment on live TV.

Sarah: It wasn't too bad because I'm a dancer and I'm used to seeing 3,000 people in front of me. When you've only got a camera, you're not actually aware that there are people watching you, unless you stop and think about it.

You Speak English?

You may think Brits and Americans speak the same language, but can you understand the following sentence?

Hey, mate, I hope those crisps choccy biccies, and ice lollies I ate while watching telly don't make me guff. Otherwise, I'll have to put on trainers and run to the loo.

Here's a little glossary to help you understand the sentence and make up sentences of your own.

British English - American English

telly - TV

loo - bathroom

ice lollie - popsicle

guff - pass gass

rubber - eraser

crisps - potato chips

chips - French fries

trainers - sneakers

choccy biccies - chocolate cookies